Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Helping the Child feel Comfortable During the Wedding Ceremony



Children might not do everything you think they will during the ceremony – it won't be perfect but it will probably be cute and entertaining. (My favorite story is the one where the little boy takes the rings up the aisle, but every few steps he turns around, makes a ferocious face and growls at the crowd. The crowd laughs hysterically but no one understands. Later, when he's asked what he was doing, he seriously answers, "Being the ring bear!"

Here's some things you can do to make them more comfortable:
Bring their favorite babysitter or assign a helper – ideally another member of the wedding party who will enjoy keeping an eye on them, hang out with them before the ceremony, and take them outside if they start to cry or need to move around.
Bring a change of clothes for the wedding reception – this way they can eat, run around, play with crayons or other toys, all without fear of ruining nice clothes.
Show them exactly where their parents will be sitting
f they have a part like flower girl or ring bearer consider buying them a book that talks about being a flower girl or ring bearer.
For a child whose parent is getting married, be sure to include them in the ceremony. This may mean asking the officiant to mention their names several times, or it may mean doing a family medallion ceremony, unity candle ceremony or ring ceremony that will include them in the new family that is being created. You could also include a vow to the chidren that the home will be a haven for them. Having a part to play in the wedding ceremony can often make a child feel less anxious about the marriage.
Whatever you do, be sure to be patient with children. They may get suddenly shy, or uncomfortable with what's going on. In the end, let them do as much as they are happy doing.